On the Periphery

Things change. Life throws us curves and changeups. It's good to have a place to vent.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Losing my husband has been the most devastating experience imaginable, and I don't know if I am ready to come back yet--if I will ever recover. The past month has been an exercise in "one foot and then the other." The love and respect shown by all has been heartening, but when the clamor fades, the pain continues, intensifying in short bursts, then subsiding in laughter. I miss the laughter, the booming voice, the little half-smile when he was putting on the world--and me. I wrote a while back on how much the human soul can handle before disintegrating. I know I walk that edge now, and pray for the strength to keep my balance. Thank God for my children, my family, my friends, who check on me, keep me smiling, keep me moving forward. Thank God for my classes and homework, for my job, for the sun that rises every morning. Thank God for my innate optimism and my belief that I will see him again someday, somehow.