On the Periphery

Things change. Life throws us curves and changeups. It's good to have a place to vent.

Monday, August 28, 2006

It’s been a rough week, but I'm better now. After losing my job, I went through all the steps of grieving—Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and, finally, Acceptance—but there’s another one that isn’t discussed: rejection. I discovered that losing a job is a lot like getting dumped by a lover.

The parting words were reminiscent to the ones you hear when ending a relationship: “We have to downsize” (It’s not you, it’s me), “We’d like you to work with us on a freelance basis” (I hope we can still be friends), and “We’ve prepared a severance package” (You can keep the ring).

Just like with ending a relationship, losing my job was a painful rejection. Now, I’m used to rejection—I am a writer, after all—but getting a form letter from an unmet editor is a lot different than looking at the faces of people with whom you’ve worked for years and having them give you the old heave-ho. It hurts a LOT more, and really sets you wondering about yourself: If I had been a better employee, they wouldn’t have cut my job. What did I do wrong? How should I change?

The fact is, I did nothing wrong. I was good at my job, I worked hard, produced excellent work, and for the most part, I felt I earned my salary and then some. I simply have to accept the fact that some things just don’t work out and move on.

I feel better about things now, and am not bitter. After all, I will still get some freelance work from my old company, and now I have more time to write my own things. I have a great support group (my husband, my kids, my friends) who constantly remind me that I am a worthwhile person. So that’s it. No more whining.

On to better things.


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